Monday, April 16, 2018

The Adventures of Ked: Twister

“The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you'll never have.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

The explosion tore through VisiCup - glass, coffee mugs and shattered bodies lay throughout the collapsing structure.  Before the walls finally buckled and gave way to the weight of the roof, Ked’s last regretful thoughts rested on the wretched glowing device.  

Ah - what a morning, Ked thought, as she stretched her arms out.  Anticipation for the perfect VisiCup Mocha making this perfect weekend morning that much more exciting.  Adding to that the 70 degree temperature and slight breeze, Ked was sure things just didn’t get much better.  

As if on cue to bring her back to reality, the greasy Mr. Lode walked up beside her and matched her stride.  Come on man - not today, she thought.  The really impressive thing was that without even saying a word - he seemed to be gloating, dripping with a sense of being entirely pleased with himself.  “How does he even do that?”

He pulled a glowing object from somewhere - looking even more pleased with himself.  “Have you seen anything that matches its beauty??” Not waiting for an answer.. “It’s going to change everything, starting with this meager city.”

“What are you even talking about?”  Ked retorted, “Your little toys aren’t going to make people forget all the evil things you’ve done..don’t you have some puppies to be torturing somewhere?”

“You mock me now - but tomorrow you will be bowing to me.  Or should I say yesterday you will be.  BAHAHAHAHA”

Ok he’s completely lost it now.

“You can roll your eyes all you want - but are you aware that we’ve just had a mayoral election?”

“Sure - so what?”

“Well I’ve discovered the secret location where the ballots were kept prior to the official counting - if I would have been able to get to that, prior to the count, I could have changed the ballots - and made myself Mayor - the first step toward becoming Supreme Commander and Overlord of the Pacific Coast.”

Geez. “Well you didn’t - so I guess we’re all safe this time.”

“That’s where my toy comes in - I call it Twister,” he said with a surprisingly straight face, “Imagine spacetime is a piece of fabric that you might use to make a piece of clothing out of.  If we play Twister - it will create a twist in spacetime, as if you had grabbed on to a piece of that fabric and rotated your hand repeatedly.  And instead of constantly moving forward along the time axis, I will be able to hop one of the folds, and find myself back before election night.”  

“you’re insane.”

Ignoring Ked’s undoubtedly accurate feedback, Mr. Lode continued, “The only problem, is that hopping through folds in spacetime means naturally, that when I arrive, I will mostly have reverted to my state prior of the time that I arrive in.  This in turn means that I won’t have the knowledge to act on my advantage.  And this is where it gets good - I’ve discovered how to get around this.”

“Some matter travels mostly through space, while moving slower through time; while some travels faster in time and slower in space. If I come into contact matter that comes directly from the future - that isn’t moving in time - it will bring parts of my memory back - and BAM before you know it - YOU’RE BOWING TO ME!!!  BWAHAHAHAHA!”

At that Ked and Mr. Lode arrived at the front door to VisiCup.  Ked had to reflect, it’s amazing how time flies when you’re listening to a megalomaniac teach you about the intricacies of time travel.

Looking at Lode directly in the eyes, so as to get her message across as clearly as possible, she began, “you’re crazy.”   

To add emphasis and to show how serious she was, she put her hands forcefully down on his beloved Twister.  Before she could continue - she was overcome with what might only be described as a feeling of electricity flowing through every cell of her body.  Her head spinning, and sure that her skin was glowing, she continued, “But even if your toy does what you say - you will never get away with this - I will stop you!!”

“Yeah, whatever, all I need are a couple of Double-A’s and this bad boy will be ready to go.” 

“Double A batteries?  Seriously?”

“Yeah, of course, to power the matter/anti-matter regulation.”

“Whatever” … “Hey Topher!!  I’ll take a double….no triple mocha please” — a conversation like this requires a little bit of recovery caffeine.

Lode, standing next to her, placed his order.  After Topher had taken his order - he made Ked’s Mocha, and was just about to hand it to her when she had a memory - a memory of what was about to happen.  She saw Mr. Lode turn to the side with his Twister in hand, spilling Ked’s mocha all over it.  After the Mocha spilled there was a massive explosion that left most of the building a wreck, and - as the memory came rushing in - Ked realized it left her breathing her last.

“NOOOOOO!” she yelled - as she shoved Lode as hard as she could away from the mocha.  She saved the spill, though Lode went crashing out the window.  

Walking slowly to the broken window - she glanced outside, expecting (nay hoping) to see a huddled mess of a man.  Ked was shocked to see nothing but a crater.  Topher joined her - and gazing in wonder breathed, “You’ve saved us again Ked - I guess his time was up.”

The End